tethered to joy

this weekend I learned a few things, primarily that polyester is very hot, a good mix of dt. Pepsi and coffee and no water because it smells funny is dehydrating, that boyfriend keeps getting better with time (Max went to see my family without me while I was away!), that we should love people even if other people deem them less quality because sometimes they become the best of friends, and that it is good to invest in quality oil paint because the results is so much more appealing.

I bought a ring this weekend. it is oval and covers most of my pudgy middle finger and I bought it as I close and return the book "1000 gifts" - a book that shared with me the secret of conquering anxiety, bitterness and anger - with Thankfulness, the second salvation. This ring is somewhat of a stake in the ground, as Rod would put it. Skip told us to build an altar to remember things, to have a symbol to constantly remind ourselves when God has spoken. And in this last year, God has spoken over me two themes,

THANK the Lord for His STEADFAST (*dutifully unwavering) LOVE, for His wonderous works to the children of man! and let them offer sacrifices of THANKSGIVING. and tell of his DEEDS in songs of JOY.

- Psalm 107:21-22

1. God has steadfast, dutifully unwavering love for me.
2. I will always have a reason to be thankful and bless my God.

I spent the weekend with K10. I made a list of things to complete and I completed every single one of them. The sky was gray which is K10's favorite color, and the ground was wet the entire time, which was a gift from Jesus to me. I was forced to wear my polyester hood as K10 learned patience from antique shop to antique shop.

K10, she brings rest out of me. [everyone brings something different out of you?] K10 brings rest. and patience. I struggled with her dang stupid sewing machine and made mittens and she carefully fixed the machine, slowly wrapping the thread when I'd break things and calmly conclude the procedure of getting me back on track.

I felt a strange thing as we closed the weekend, I felt anger. I think it is because life will be different soon-- I have a job and a man who means more to me than any kind of freedom. I will soon live a life that is not completely my own, which even this statement is denial because my life is already not my own.

I am tethered willingly to God. even our joys are tethering and sometimes we strain at them. I am delighted to be tethered to God, to those that I love, to good quality oil paint, to my personality, to inspiration and hair color and curls and knitting needles and writing artful music and all those things that come with me. And, Max tethers himself willingly to my craziness. and I to his.

I am estatic about this, and sometimes frustrated. But in the end I am estatic to be tethered to a God who expects love from us when we'd rather not talk to the old man in the antique shop who wants to discuss old vehicles and Whitehall in the 1900's after the war.

Kristen turns on her blinker and I finish writing this blog on the gluten free cookie bag that sits next to me. We leave Whitehall and I get excited to see Max. Her eyes are tired from writing the bible, and the sleeves of my elbows are stained from oils. This is the life that I have been called to, I build an altar and remember how blessed, how bless I am in it.