someday i want to have a lil place

with a tiny wrap around porch
and a lil husband who only loves me
and windows, big windows
and a garden
and a tree with roots and some shade
and a hammock

and I want the color pee-green-yellow on one of the walls
and I want each lil thing inside to be something, something special
nothing without meaning

and I want it to be cozy and loud and quiet all at the same time

and a fireplace
and I want to have homemade pizza nights where everyone brings different ingredients, and then some of them are unneeded and so you just say, oh, well, we'll save them for next week, because there will be a next week. always.
and I want a screen door for the summer, and I want it to slam alot, and for lil faces to peak in and ask for cookies
and I want a small art room, where the aisle that my husband made stands, and the lil room that he constructed with his hands, where he placed the paint brushes on the table and found a tall chair and called it mine and put in a window so I could see the birds (the cardinals in the winter)
and I want a tiny loft, where its kind of hard to climb into but somehow my husband and I both fit
and a little shelf that is an awkward color for the room, but somehow, people always compliment it
and frames with people that we pray for and love hanging about with turquoise paint rusted off
and antiques that are tasteful, in a definite place, not just wandering about looking for dust
everything belongs. and yet it's a little bit odd looking.
and the curtains are pure.
and it feels like Jesus would like the house because he does.
and I want to have movie nights where theres popcorn everywhere afterwards to be picked up
and I want people to cry on my couches and get ugly mascara all over them so I have to wash them, but they leave with the burdens they brought in still clinging to the couches and not their shoulders
and I want people to laugh on my couches, with their toes underneath them, and cute mugs in their hands
(maybe they will have names like Char's)
with heavy blankets made out of t-shirts, or random spots of fabric that I've grabbed from different places in life
and there will be a room where there are no fights, no movies, a sacred room

and I want the night to be the night
where no one is allowed
on some nights
except for my hub and I - sometime down the road the kids, but we won't talk about them yet

and coffee will be brewing until the teeth turn yellow, every morning
decaf at night
and then maybe a tea shelf, and a little pot on the stove, the color red
and music will play
and there will be dancing, loud dancing, soft dancing, none the less, dancing
and I want a red bathroom with those funny lil legs because the tub is old
and I want a rustic mirror so its hard to see yourself, but you see yourself
and there will be tiny verses stuck to different walls where they can be seen
and memorized and lived

or maybe none of these things will be there
there might not be enough money
but
either way it will feel like that in the walls
because there will be love.
I promise,
there will be love.