1. 6am.
i came up behind you you tiny woman
our Fathers face combing over the woods
your face wept at the end of the long dirt driveway
the road to a shambled home with rotting wood
a foundation you had tried to repair all these years without once picking up a hammer or
purchasing new wood.
your children are lost, you told me.
2. 2007
the cancer put his fingernails in you again
taking your appetite and your strength and your frame but
I had never seen you so happy as you talked about forever
they had tried to pray over your body
you had let them and asked them to, all the while hoping that
you wouldn't heal unless it could heal the remains of the cancer in your family
when you spoke I felt full and strong
and I still do when I think of you
3. Dec. 2008
I touched the ivory and wrote you a song because
4.
you died yesterday at Jamie's house
and I am so happy for you.
5.
I missed your funeral and I don't even know if your husband (ex) was there
he used to pull up with long pieces of venison for us in his red pick-up truck
he was quiet and violent and lonely which was his choice
Jamie used to come for tea parties until one day I realized that I was too young for her friendship
and I never asked her back
I remember Nicki, the eldest. American-Indian-like in her face with straight dark hair
and eyes that held things she never said.
Kip used to waste hours of his anger disturbing the peace on summer days in his dirt-bike
the hands we used to bail hay with at golden hour until the trailers were empty and the machine was turned off, barn's stomach full
we felt accomplished and lovely, small pieces of hay poking at our knees
long sleeves in July
I remember sitting on Grandma Heemstra's lap and her voice was kind and I felt nothing but comfort near her
6. 2011
Helen has built a home on your land now and hopes you are watching - she is calling it Redemption
we do not know where Gary is, he was in Montana for awhile and I know he paints
he is still lonely and violent and afraid of himself I am sure
does Jamie still dance?
are you watching us?
2 comments:
you are really a very gifted writer, chelsea. i savor your words.
i have no idea who/what this series of poems is about, but it doesn't even matter, because it still resonates with my heart somehow.
Oh Chelsea. I eat up your writing. I could just read everything you write for the rest of my life. Teach me how, will you?
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