I have found that I have a hard time saying no

why?

because I think that I am learning that I have found my value in how I offer myself to others

and to say no would be to risk loss, anger, or letting someone down.

I am praising myself right now for learning how to let people down because honestly,

I dont know how.

I walk away after doing it feeling guilt. 

like I have to go back and fix them. help them.

and that is a heavy burden to carry.

I think this comes down to unconditional love which is a new concept that I learned in many ways from a friend, Daniel

the words no matter what were foreign to me previously

most everything I did hung on some reward system or some sort of idea that if I did them well I would be loved for it and if I failed, let someone down, my significance would somehow have lost value.

I've let a lot of people down, and that doesn't mean that I am less lovely

or less valuable

or less loved.