An average day in Alaska

[who said anything about wasting time?]


Charming Jerry Olt.

it starts with the new alarm-clock ring Barbara put on my phone because she was stinking sick of the other one
it's charming and haunting all at the same time

I pull myself out of bed, sometimes muttering a prayer or two upward, sprawling through the darkness to find my phone
so I can have a beam of light.

Once I find it, I begin shuffling and depending on the time it is, I grab my bible and the memory verse that I scribbled down the night before, or I run down the stairs so I do not get "negs" for being late for breakfast.

Negs are a system they use around here for control. Someone got negs the other day for climbing on top of the fridge, or attempting to (he was caught in the process). Jamin Bultman got negs for pretending to commit suicide in the freezer, and Dara got negs because she "tried to pull him out, attempting to save him." I got negs once so far. I was late to devotions. I know, seriously, I should have done something cooler.

if it is 6ish in the morning, I still have an hour before breakfast. I wander downstairs to the lounge where Jerry Olt is creaping around, lounging on the couch - WHO DOES THAT IN THE DARK IN A LOUNGE?!? - his legs are sprawled out, and if I hadn't jumped out of fear and surprise, I would have tripped over his legs, which are clothed in pants ready for a flood by the way - but perhaps that is due to the suspenders he also wears over his tucked in t-shirts. don't get me wrong, Jerry is one of my favorite people here. he has this thing he does with his lips when he is unaware he is doing it, he pushes them up to right under his nose like a duck, and then his whole face is scrunched up right by his glasses. He usually has hat hair because, once again, has to take off his hat for breakfast, in fear of negs - which, I got warned for this morning when I covered by bad bed hair with a cute hat danny got me for for christmas. darn negs.

Breakfast. Dara comes in with her morning face that looks like she has no thought process yet, and also like she might slaughter if you speak to her. We must be there at 7:15, sharp. Jamin mills around grinding french press coffee, while Jay, if he comes, saunters in with bed head and cow licks that he claims he cannot control. Luke is usually ready for the day, and sometimes we discuss his honeymoon and wedding plans. Patient needs a hug. As does K10, who walks in with her arms spread out and her lil happy face that exudes butterfly's and the color pink and puppies. Her poop probably comes out fragrant. Correct me if I am wrong.

Brians comes out, yelling, "any prayer requests or praise reports..." Patient always has something to say. Brian points out one person and says, pray. And so, they do. in fear. next, the girls scramble to line up for food - usually, eggs, bacon, sometimes a ketchup bottle that farts, cereal... we eat.

Then, we clean our rooms because we might have "dorm checks." our beds have to be left wrinkle free. our floors vaccuumed, our closets crispy, our desks dusted. Clean. We get, "an awesome" or, a, "put your molding moose away."

then, off to class. Devotions happen at 8:15 sharp after Eric reads off announcements, which by the way, if you put in an announcement like, CAMO DAY FRIDAY, and don't write your name, he'll show the crowd the card and say, this announcement is disregarded because it is without a name.

Then, four hours of class.

The other day we had a successful class that required us to look up old cities in the bible and find out facts about them and then create a "slogan" for them in class. I created a rap song rather quickly, and... somehow it ended up being about drugs. but then again, probably 3 out of 4 of the skits were about drugs... so? I dont know what that says about ABI.

This morning in Old Testament History, we dipped apples in honey, watched Grant slaughter Becky who pretended to be a lamb, we sat on the floor just because they told us to, we threw rocks into water to rid ourselves of sin, and, attached our sins on the scapegoat, which was lauren, who had to run from the room on her hands and feet. I feel like I know a lot more about the Israelites customs and traditions now. Thanks, guys.

Next, we have 15 minutes until lunch.
we go and check how we did on our "dorm checkup sheets"
we put on slippers that are purple if we have a drying dish doooooty after lunch.
I try to shake things up a bit in the kitchen, stuff like hanging the metal spatula's upside down so they stick out so they hit brian in the head... whooopsssyy... or... putting the metal spatula with the knives to make him angry.

I am the dish dryer this week for all the meals, which is, loads of fun. there are lots and lots of loads of dishes. no pun intended.

I have named the dishwasher henry.

no one likes to sing with me while I work.

life at ABI is just superb. You should come.


my thoughts on poop.