i

cried today.

it was in the prayer room, the day outside was sunny but my nerves were all out of wack.

I cried. and it felt good. because I was being real. I was how I was.

today we decided that this year will be about rest

knowing that Jesus loves us in a remarkable way

that we can hold a butterfly on our palm, not a fist clenched around it scared if we don't perform or hold on we may lose it

we dont' need to hold life

so all the powder falls off of it's wings

we can hold it with our hand open, watching it, marveling, enjoying God

(thanks Jana)

no longer is it our lives with God added

but God

just 

God

and our lives shoved into the little places we can fit them into

because God has overtaken and the thing we love most is just to sit with Him

in his temple and

cry

because

he

is 

so

beautiful

if we could just look at him, we'd have happiness

this year 

we won't be so aware that people are upset or challenging or unhappy

because God's happy and that is really what our attention should be on

anyhow

thanks brooke and sarah for entering into this with me, or letting me enter into it with you

love!