jim is laughing in the woodshop and licking wood glue off of his pointer finger
he is always wearing black and wood shavings and his hair looks like a chicken's
gray and spiked in different places from his fingers raking

Yesterday I cut Josiah's hair in the bathroom, he was being cocky and I was laughing with my chin back. I cut his bangs wrong and he just made jokes, he didn't jab and kept talking about how hot he is. I like that. That he can be hot without great hair.

Sarah's blog reminded me of the same thing, who are we without our makeup, our hair, our clean clothes, would he want to know me without all of that stuck to me. God would want me. God wants me as I am.

this skin is so tedious.

Leesa and Richard leave today. She says she will be back if Richard tries to drink again and Marv is imploring me to speak to her. She hugged me for the first time last night, (after I gave her the bible) and I have seen joy arise in her eyes in this past week,
her face and her heart are both fuller, croqueting a green blanket on the couch wrapped in Richard or making rice or Valentines cookies in the kitchen. every single night that she came to prayer she prayed out loud, thankful for love, thankful for hope and a yellow sweatshirt and a pair of khaki pants that fits her better than me. quiet. smiling. sharing her family album. As much of her heart as she has to give she gives. I'm sad to see her go, I will miss waking her up in my living room and walking over to say GOOD MORNING loudly to the men, grabbing coffee before school. the couch won't look as friendly without her sitting there. There will be more room in the living room, which I could do without.

and I've been anxious lately, undecided on what about, my head's been buzzing, I felt sad for a day or two
[ever since Joe left]
and now he's home where he should be waving at me from his stage
enjoying a cigarette in the a.m.
unsure how to turn himself in or get on his knees or just make things right and I dont know if we have told him yet how to cross that barrier, do we just let him watch or do we explain? Sarah and I wonder.

we love to see him standing there, regardless of all of that. it feels like home again. I like his place, I like my place, our place. Each of us.

DanMike making Jesus smile with his song and his song and his song and his song (I love to watch him worship, the joy of the Lord is truly his strength and I know that because I see it break across his face while his eyes are closed
Chip is loud and drinkin black coffee in the kitchen, his dang keychain singing that dang song and sometimes I am rubbing his furry head or yelling at him or hugging his budda belly or apologizing for calling it that
Brad saunters about, dancing like a madman or quiet in his laptop. content.
Jen, such a piercing, fierce, hope-filled person, gets right to the point every.time.
Tony thinking about everything from every angle, holding ezra in his lap
Don is cleaning or spending time with the Lord. encouraging everyone, everytime.
Derek filling the kitchen with good smells and harmonies
Marv, leg up, get your leg up, his eyes that are clear now and he concern for friends is infectious
I'll be back to finish the rest.

and I like my job.

verse of the day: [A cheerful heart is always feasting.]