I'm learning to hear Gods voice.

I used to think I knew it, I think it was more I assumed that I knew what he would say to me. It was usually heartless, challenging, promoting movement, and I usually felt fear. People would tell me this was not Gods character. But I was doing my best based on what I knew of God.

It was scary, as I've said before, to decide to change my view of God. Or to believe as I stood there in church that it was his voice that said "you are my child. And you are forgiven of all your sin."

I decided to believe that that is what his voice sounded like. It was not me saying this to myself. And since then it has been such a journey of learning Him. And oh, he is kind. And oh, he is good.

I saw the same fear in a friends face recently. "How could he send someone to hell if he's good?!" These are good questions, they are. "Why do good people die and bad things happen?" These are good questions they are. And doubt gives you a good education.

I've questioned God like this. But if I had not first heard his kind voice... Or felt him at times in the room smiling at me or seen him standing in the doorway admiring his kids, or watched Him glad over and proud of His children's names or really believed that his love was enough that he paid for all my sin with his sons death... I would not have believed that this God cries with me when there is death... But oh how he loves the death of his saints!! And hell? He wishes no man to perish... When I see my god through this lens then I can have faith in him and rest in his gentle arms and see him there on the throne, His first words to John as he falls before Him, "fear not."

Oh my God is good. He is love. And how I love Him so.