gospel ranting

when I saw the waterfall
I began to understand

the fresh colors of green clasping their hands tightly to the side of the cliff and the waters, oh the cold waters that bit at our ankles, our knees and then buried us, licking our hair pushing it up as we plunged into the waters, screaming, laughing, cliff jumping

it took my breath away, and I began to understand
why people turn to buddha allah
on their knees toward Mecca
they must attribute this beauty to someone something

they call it sacred instead of bounding into the waters in pleasure and laughter

on the way home from Hawaii I sat next to the Nigerian man who emptied our conversation because it was time for him to pray to Mecca - and I could hear him breathing his dedication to his allah
and I mourned for two reasons
because I wanted to love my God better
and because he was sewn to a god that did not hear him

I remember standing in Mali, across from the temple,
the dark walls sending shivers up my spine as the loud speakers chanted and the very small bone of a man knelt, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep or some failure he could not forgive himself for, or malnutrition
his black clothes spread out at his feet like a dress, feet tucked under him, no joy
bowing
bowing
bowing toward a city
to a god  who did not hear him
all the while, my God the one who "wishes no one to perish" stands by, sad
I in my shoes
sad
afraid
without a french tongue to share the truth
paralyzed, the picture will always remain in my head

we all worship someone, something

and the waterfall
even I, it took my breathe away and I looked up
and worshipped My God.

My God the only God who as David promised, "is for me."

My God the only God who loved me so much that he let his son hold onto

inhale

burry

all of my flaws, my burdens, my sins

so that when God looked at me I would be clean

the God who as  I worship calls me "perfect one" (not because of anything I have done)

CAN YOUR GOD DO THAT FOR YOU

WHY is the name of Jesus so offensive when all he is is a Savior

one willing to bear all of my sins? make me clean? OH my SAVIOR

[i love you.]

How did I not get this before? was it because it was too good to be true?

It is my life.

It is my only hope.

and though it is hard to believe, I place my everything in it

because each day I find myself living for me

cussing under my breath, idle words

gossiping without holding my tongue

thinking negatively about someone

anxious

Oh, how I do not want to be this person

how can anyone say, "I am good. I'm a good person."

the waterfall took my breathe away.
I understood why the girl lay across the large boulder, the sun god she believed was soaking her
her legs shucked across the sides bathing in the glory of the water cascading down down thousands of feet

there were small rocks wrapped delicately in leaves
the green of the leaf parched from the sun
prayers that someone placed there in hopes that this sacred place would hold them
and hear them
and answer them
what happens when they go unmet? do they curse the waterfall?
or even more dangerous, what if their rocks wrapped in leaves are heard? they return, believing in the sacred place, the waterfall.

there was stillness when we arrived
the girl that followed us down the mountain toward Wypeo Valley talked about this place being sacred
she never took off her sunglasses
I never saw her eyes
each word she gave us was tight and strong
as if she had to create strength in her beliefs without vulnerability
there was no softness in her sacred beliefs
no kindness that leads to repentance

I must say that Buddha, he cannot do anything for you
I say this because I know you, your confusion, your hope
I hear his name more and more everyday
PLEASE see this.
buddha, I will spell without capitalization because he is not a god
there is one God

and he is full of love
full of kindness
lovers of our soul
love so large, so wide, so long
that he pulled out sin from us and separated it from us as far as the east is from the west
our sin is that far from us
this God created these waterfalls
these places for us to romp around in
to acknowledge him
He watches from the doorway like a proud father
glad that we enjoy this beauty he called into exhistance so that we could SEE him

there is a God
he is GOOD
he is LOVE
he can be yours if you choose to lay all of your sins on his son
who took them, buried them
and rose again

so that we can all have new life.