Saturday, February 23, 2013

dear sir

I once knew you well
and hurt you often

it was a highly alert part of our lives when our thoughts were forming and our questions were going unanswered and being answered and we were kids

maybe you've forgotten, it was long ago

and I only bring this up now because you've been around a lot more and it's coming up a lot more and so
its not that I am mad at you at all, I'm not
I forgave you a long time ago and I love your wife and I think highly of you

all that being said,

 I will tell you why I write this blog

I am annoyed at the situation
we have the same circle of friends
I'm annoyed that
 at times it is awkward... still
that sometimes I want to be with people without them having to say
"by the way... BLANK will be here as well..." leaving you with a decision or me with a decision
(they are only trying to respect us, I am not upset at that...)
but why is this following us around? is it my fault? if it is, I am truly sorry.

are you sick of it too?

no more decisions
we will co-exist and be just splendid at it
we will be adults
we did once promise we'd always be cordial
you will no longer be the source of this problem to me, an acquaintance who once knew my flaws and my gifts under microscope

if im honest,
I feel shame, mostly
because you knew me at a time that was most hard
and I was most weak
and I think sometimes I am still afraid that I am that girl still

really, that is the honest truth.
I write this to clear my thoughts.
I should have done this along time ago.

I will not fear that anymore

I think I resent you because that fear mostly comes around
knocking me down when you are around,
so I haven't liked you being around.
it isn't because of you.

I wont let that bother me any longer...
so we can start over now.


1 comment:

J.K. English said...

ah peace. rejoicing over here. i wondered where the post went, but I'm glad i get to peek at it now. I love you.

team chelsea.
team friendship.