Felt

a blog in me this morning. Today i reset the week. Tuesday. My day home. Project day. I clean the newly wed grime from microwave and fill neon water pitcher to water my plants whispering at them "don't die don't die please don't die" I collect their dead leaves and soak their dirt and realize I haven't mothered them well. I make scrambled eggs for the hub and pour over coffee and kiss him at the door. Sweep corners. Sip coffee and wish talitha and cooing baby were here. For some reason today I miss her so. The pellet stoves heat licks my right leg that is shucked over the armrest and he hums. I try to write of Timmy in my head and I pray for luke who I haven't seen for years who just friended me on Facebook. I remember the scar across the cheek and the waves that took his brother and hugging him the day after. I pray mostly for max and thank god for this man. Realtor. Builder. My dreamer. My love who takes me in his arms in the morning in striped yellow sheets and kisses me with morning breath. Tmi. who says sweet nothing's and reminds me that I am no longer sad or afraid or in need to prepare myself for the worst. He sits on his pulpit of a pellet stove and exhorts me and then kisses my forehead to not make me sick. How I love this life and this God who gave me back Life. who said he hope for me is the fullest life. i opened my mouth and he fillled it. Serve max he speaks on Sunday and then Tammy reminds me without trying that God has graced us with different gifts and then rod speaks to me too and says... He who will be first will be last and God did not come to be served but to serve. I take up my towel today and pray that I am found on my knees. Towel in hand. I sweep. I Home Depot for paint and clear coat to finish the dining room and hope that it will bring rest to max. I smile. I write. I thank. I praise. I happy.