I asked God to speak to me today about a certain subject, and, so, when my mind started to wander, or my insides started to tighten, or I tried to find my own solutions to the messes in my life, I would re-adjust my mind and say no, I will wait on the Lord, and I will think on only what I know He says about the matter.

On the way home tonight, I asked Him again.

"Speak Lord."

A picture flashed in my mind of two large soundboards... you know, the kind that sound engineer guys use with all of those crazy buttons, some of them are flashing, some of them you can move up and down, but ALL of them were screaming at me. There were two walls of them. One in front of me and one behind me. did I mention, I had to, in this picture, learn how to control all of them the right way in order for something to function correctly? I could feel the panic rise up in me,

"I can't do it, I can't do it, I don't know how!"

and then the response. It felt like God walked into the room and relief came over me. like God was trying to say to me,

"Chelsea, I'm not asking you to do this. I'm asking you to let me do it. I'm asking you to trust me with all of these buttons that makes this thing run smoothly. Trust me."

Does the panic subside? no, not always. Not immediately. But when a trial, or a problem comes and you begin to seek a solution - God has one. Always. Sometimes it IS a clear answer to your question, sometimes He just asks that you step aside and let him at the buttons.

He knows how to let this thing run smoothly. (and so, I can give up and stand amazed at my Abba.)


1. the lunch that Max packed so perfectly in a lil plastic container
2. cutting hair on a porch on the westside
3. Schuler's books
4. Jazz music, and finding my Dad passed out on the couch when I get home
5. Emily Haus singing to Salon music, outloud, at the reception desk
6. People mooning people. hysterical.