Wednesday, June 15, 2011

God's love is my wealth

something bred this conversation tonight, one of old foundations that were built at an early age, foundations that brought shame and fear into my concept of God

am i thankful for that? I have to be. Because God promises that it will bring good.

conversations like tonight shake up my baby faith that I feel has just recently grasped on with both hands even if it is just the tips of my fingers to what the gospel is, what this love of God is that is wide and deep and long and that cannot be broken and it is what I want to become my breath what I want to believe in as I interact with each person and see and hope that this love transforms my heart and my mind, each delicate thought toward each soul that was created by God's own hands

Could you pray? I have someone in my life who is wonderful, full of wisdom, and yet, I think at times still afraid. Afraid that perhaps God will not accept them at the end of the age. Afraid that they aren't chosen by God. and at times these fears are put out there for all to see and hear, and placed on us. and I must fight those same fears.

I have worked through this, I have done my time in this same fear, and come to the resolve that that is not the way that we were meant to live and that is not a God that I want to serve. More importantly, That is not what I find in the word. That is not the gospel of Christ, the one that we are called to cling to. I specifically remember someone telling me once, that, "you cannot love someone that you fear." and it stuck with me. Because, I have been afraid of God my entire life. Afraid of his disgruntled attitude toward me. Afraid that I am not enough to "get in." Afraid because that was my concept of Him.

It does not make me angry anymore. it used to. it now makes me have compassion for one who believes that.

it makes me afraid at times, that perhaps it's right. perhaps I do have to fear enough to stay in God's graces, but that too is not biblical.

so, I have surrendered. I have decided, and loved, and fallen onto the grace of the gospel of God - the only thing in the entire world, the only thing that I know that can give me peace. that no matter what, no matter who I have been, it is JESUS CHRIST and being HIDDEN in Him that can save me.

HIS MERCIES ARE NEW EVERY MORNING.

HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER.

HE DOES NOT WISH ANYONE TO PERISH.

HOW WOULD HE, WHO DID NOT EVEN SPARE HIS SON NOT GIVE ALL THINGS TO HIS PEOPLE?

in Him all of my sin is washed clean and I appear spotless before my Savior. When I am afraid, I will put my trust in that. Fear not, for He is with me. sometimes those old fears creep up, that perhaps the gospel is not enough, perhaps it is not enough that God would send His Son, perhaps I will screw this up yet and be rejected by God.

But then I have to remember, that is not biblical. that is not the God I serve. I am so sinful that God had to send his very Son into this world to die in order to cover up my sin, and yet I am so loved that He was willing to lose His Son, to let Him die and go through that to call ME daughter.

So, I ask that you pray for this person who is afraid. Pray for revelation. and I ask that you fall headlong into the grace of God, the only thing we have to cling to! AND IT IS FREEDOM!

1 comment:

J.K. English said...

I WiLL pray. Jesus holds those ones in the palm of his hand, even the ones who are afraid. Love your thoughts, Chelsea.