the time has come again to decide
what my life has been this year and what it should be tomorrow

I pick up the pieces of the last year and observe them as if I can stare at them in my hand
and I want to make choices to become more.

i find myself a lot of mornings pulling my body out of bed
heavy

I find myself a lot of sunday's convicted and see my own heart for its
heaviness

i find myself looking at my past failures and mistakes asking why and it feels
heavy

[but God has been responding to these things.]

and I have felt God's small whisper that to be brought into a new day is joy and to look forward with great enthusiasm and hope

and I have felt God's small whisper that to be brought to conviction may feel heavy but it is only that God wants to make me more and so to look at this with great enthusiasm and hope

and I have felt God's small whisper to look at my past failures and sadness with great courage and to instead look forward with great enthusiasm and hope

to see what can be instead of what wasnt
to see his steady perfect working in the places that have felt like a mess
to see that my value is no less and that I am broken but fixed by his grace just like anyone else
to see my failures and dance at His grace over it

to look at every situation with hope because God is smiling and has a home for me that is lacking tears and death and heaviness

but feasting and rejoicing. this is what I have to look forward to.

and to see the small joys of today.



because he is bringing me into newness of life! :) daily!
and I am delighted.



and I like Max.