there are all of those questions that we grow up with
those things we analyze and try to interpret and understandto get peace and fulfillment

I have found that most things are easier then I first thought them to be.

like Jesus.
before he was a good story.
for awhile I lived for God and yet still was hindered in my understanding of Jesus and I thought that I must dig to find him when all I really had to do was ask Him to reveal Himself to me, and keep asking - it was not until then that I experienced a personal relationship. not until I understood need.

Rod spoke today about need, our need, everyones need.

We NEED God.

He said we couldn't get God until we saw our need for him
sort of like an alcoholic cannot become clean of their addiction until they recognize their addiction.

God can't be a wristband or a bumper sticker
he has to be our life breath.

I have asked God two things, I have asked Him to keep me always humble
and so in times when I find myself wrecked and desperate and so yearning for something that I feel will fill me he reminds me that it is only in His arms that I can come and truly be myself full of my need, desperate for my God
and only in that am I filled. He brings you low only to bring you back to Him, to show you need.
He is the living water that I have always wanted
that quenches my thirst.

I have asked God another thing, years ago, before I understood what it really meant
I prayed the same prayer as in Proverbs 30 - let me have neither too little so that I steal and curse God or too much so that I forget God and think I am fine on my own
I asked him to always just allow me to have just enough
so that I know it is always He that is caring for me
so that I do not become proud and try to run my own life
so that I am always called back to His bossom for rest, and help, and food

even ideas
to paint to draw to create to photograph to love to sing
they must be of him. must be.
or they have no breath.

I fully believe this.

I want to tattoo something on my wrist to remind myself that God,
He is the one that accomplishes all things for me

I want to do this because I believe that that is the one thing that brings myself and others peace - the kind that passes all understanding

because here and only here can I release my burdens onto Him
let them fall on his shoulders
and know and see and feel that there is indeed a God next to me
who is always with me (immanuel)
and when people ask what my tattoo means, I want to proclaim that truth
that God is a God who is with me
always
accomplishing all for me

and there, I loose anxiety, striving and a quest to be my own god
but I am His daughter

And Jesus is God.

(so if anyone knows the hebrew name for God that means: the God who accomplishes all things for me, let me know.)