ode to thanksgiving

mumford and sons is gasping in the kitchen underneath
Jeshua pounding Lord of the rings on the piano (thanksgiving morning)
and jamin compliments him with the strings
it is loud, chaotic and beautiful like home is

the dehydrator is smoking while the turkey heats and josiah runs out for three more sweet potatoes and bagels with Zach attack

I fell asleep last night on the couch after crying with tammy
and Dad and I started a movie, one I saw about 5 minutes of in the beginning and then drifted off like I do but awike to an awkward kissing scene in the middle to which I turned over for because
I dont want to watch all that kissing if I can't be kissing
just being honest

I woke up at 7ish to the coffee grinder humming good morning
and decided to pass that moment by with more sleep

I woke again around 9 to Mom's cheerful voice
(she always seems cheerful)
and then later she produces an entire tv show over the sink explaining how to wash the inside of a plastic bag while Dad and I fiddle around on the computer

Dad rummages around the kitchen fiddling with diabetic appliances
and Jesh stomps through the dining room with a DVD, hoping Jamin will stop on the strings so that he can watch

happy thanksgiving.

I am so thankful to God.
For Tammy being home.
for trials. thank you God for trials, Mom says it will make me more of a person.
For the Smiths. who always have their door open to me and call me family. (Ally I will come to paint your wall again soon.)
for the Harangozos for being life-giving and honest.
For My Dad, the wonderful melancholy man that I could not live without who breathes wisdom and hold so firmly to the words of God.
For Mom, who has learned to cuddle with me at times and speak words of life daily.
For Jamin, who is always honest even when it is hard, but also has the kindest of eyes.
For Jesh, who has given me more reasons to get on my knees and has shown me the Lord. For his creativity and love.
For Joe, who is crazy, and such a smoocher. determined and manly.
For Austin and Kristi who are wonderfully wonderful and who I wish I could see more. THank you thanksgiving for bringing them over.
For Jana who is always bopping around and brings joy and love and learning. I can always grow by being around her.
For Kristen who calms me. and listens. and is a place of safety and comfort. and always will be no matter how she fills.
Emily who understands my sense of humor and always makes me laugh - who gets me.
Char who is like a painting that is moving - beautiful and magical. D is right, you are Cs. Lewis style.
For Dougie J - who brings relief and calm and education and a group of woman who have been put in my life for such a time as this.
For tomorrow and the promise of more life and peace in Jesus. I love Jesus.
For love notes on the windshield or from the hand of Molly's or random ones in the mail from Jessie's. Words are my love language.

(Ps. please breathe a prayer for my dougie J friends, H, and G, and M, as their lives are dug up right now and as they wait for God to move in their bodies and in their relationships.)

Thank you Lord

For a car that works and runs and is my place to speak to the Lord often.

For a cozy home full of chaos and love and God's presence.

for a job that provides.

for art. for Sarah. For April. For Emily who add joy to my life and consistency.

I am thankful for you. if I missed you forgive.
I do love you.