the truth is

my significance is only in God

and I have felt that that is what He is whispering most loudly

all the tiny caves that feel empty that I try to fill with something different he says to me

look up

look up

look up

(give me your first fruits, let me love you in these places)

I'm getting it.

His love is enough.

His grace, it is enough.

His dreams are the ones that will stay

I cannot sway or control or change them no matter how hard I try.

end of story.

He has asked me to hold tight yet also cautioned me that this does not mean what I have in my hand is not something I will never have to give away or lose even when both feet a

re in

hold it loosely, as Marc always says

I miss Brooke.

I want to be like G who wakes up every morning and says, OKAY GOD, if you take my wife, I am for you. I am for you. I am for you. I am for you.

and when I am letting God be my obsession, my idol, my King, MY GOD then everything else appears so small.

and last night God called me Sarai.

_____________________________

last night we heard his voice trailing out from the garage

"just leave me alone"

though that is precisely the opposite reason he was residing within those fence walls

the alcohol has made him disfunctional on most days

and J encouraged us last night 

to get back on our knees in concentrated prayer for this man

so pray for Dave

tall Dave

Walking with his pelvis first Dave

Friendly laughing Dave

coffee in the morning Dave

sitting on the back stoop Dave

Screaming profanities Dave

will be healed Dave

_____________________________

pray for this one as well

because I do not want to find him under a bridge someday