this is hard today.

it hasn't been everyday, but today, yes.
it smells like you in here.

and I am wondering where he is, and who he is speaking with
and if he is thinking of me. [just being honest]
these kinds of things, do they happen with breakups?

and yet God is breathing into the empty spots
the loneliness I felt the other night sitting on the couch with my
dumb love story novel

(I need a new one by the way)

and Friday when I spent the night holding a lil brown baby
when usually I'd be on a date

he was my best friend the last two years...
so that is why these tears, you know? I'm grieving.

and sometimes I am excited to see what God has for us or for
the other us

and I don't really have any choice but to just be
with my hands up
open
and hope and pray that God would move in hearts (he will)
and take things out of hearts that are not of him
and lay his delights on hearts

and then I guess I'll know the next step.

and I am trusting God, and okay if he moves on or likes a
different pretty girl ( i will want to punch her in the face)
and I might hate it,
but, God'd move me on too
and for the first time I know I know I know
it's all going to be ok.

but, i miss him. and that is not wrong.