becoming

it's funny how God does his work in us.
He shakes us up and turns us upside down and prunes things off of us that aren't bringing us toward Him.

The last few years have been tough, but, God has indeed brought me to a place of peace.
peace in my heart.

And, it has been confirmed more than once that God wants to make me into more of a woman.
And, so, change must happen.

Randy said on sunday that the definition of insanity is
"trying the same thing over and over and expecting the same results"

things must change and adjust and move and be in motion to conform
and, like i felt God whisper to me repeatedly this year
i am learning to be like clay
to abandon MY mold and surrender to His hands
to stop fighting
to let what He does with me to to let His words move me into motion

creativity is coming back, I can feel it breathing all over me
the writer in me is springing back
(I am writing poetry again)
and painting

and my fingers have been itching for the guitar, but that hasn't so much happened yet.

God is good.
I have said this.
I do not always feel this.
but it is truth
and I am standing on it.