your snowflake shape

i'm sad because she is leaving

how many Wednesdays do we have left now

in this quiet flat?

and isn't that how it is these days, the coming the going the friendship

good thing i get to be with her for eternity

otherwise I could not let go so easily and wish her well

but, B, I wish you well... this is not goodbye

and you are always welcome

at my door

____________________________

the healer showed up on my prayer blanket this morning and said

i am the healer

pulled long pieces of paradigm out of my ears [ and kept pulling ]

and then showed me a meek man with holes in his wrists 

cupping my ears

precious, sweet girl he says, stroking the right side of my face

in my anger, my lush, my fits, he said

there is no one like you

no love like your snowflake shape

and that I should really start wearing myself more often

because he created certain  people to be met by me to be brought to his face through me

[ that is how we all are 

we should stop doubting so much ]

he shared myself with me like he had knit me together himself

and then my headache went away

_____________________________

it was dark

the car smelled like it always did accept this time

he was crying

yes, it was through the marijuana but God can get through the marijuana

do you even know how small I am you are

it's laughable to think we have lost hope now

I will not cry about the marijuana anymore

I will use that space to ask God to speak and touch his heart through it

to show up in it

because HE IS GOD and I know I know I know

because I have been praying for tears

(his heart is not a stone like they may think)

and even a stone?

God makes living water burst from

so maybe it should become a stone

so God can prove to all of them that

HE IS GOD

(im laughing)