new friends

I feel like I just made 5 new friends

although I have been living with them the past months

I feel like I just decided on them... I cannot explain it

perhaps I have been holding them off at a distance because this is temporary

and these friendships will be gone soon

and it is easier that way - to hold them away from me

but

this is family

and these friendships are eternal and

I shouldn't be so guarded

so I wanted to say thank you thank you thank you God!

for the people you have placed in my life

for such a time as this

I love my new friends

who I want to link arms with now

I feel something has just shifted...

it started with this morning

in fact I hear the laughter still from in the next room

over stolen airplane cups and french pressed coffee with soy milk

Brooke sharing her deepest fleshly thoughts about each one of us

mine, which made me cry

I've had the ability to experience such love

for which I rarely take a step back to look at 

eating breakfast every morning together after 6 am prayer together

every morning

[these people screaming beautiful character traits after each other

and if you call them by their real name you have to touch your back to the floor

you wouldn't understand unless you lived with us

and I want to my family to be like this someday

quirky and alive and real]

I have grown to love the late-night chats with my sisters who

I never have had before

Brooke with her tender heart but very pointed honesty

not only about other people but most importantly she is unafraid

to be honest about herself

even in her weakness

and it makes her transparent and beautiful and pushes me everyday

to be unafraid of being weak so that I can be made strong

only in Christ

Sarah, this new cistern of complete joyfulness

the forceful extended hug after I returned from Africa

which was unexpected and delightful

she really did

miss me

She has become playful and delightful to be around

I love to be in her presence now, it is rare to catch her without delight in her face

I want her to know that

I'd tell it to her face but she isn't in the same room right now

and I am smiling about it now

Sarah B, my new room-mate

what sincerity pours out of that woman

before she moved here I told everyone she was a role model for me

that has not changed.

She never says a word she does not mean,

and in James there is so much said about the tongue that

I believe she has memorized it

what does pour out is sincere sincere love

even this morning when she complimented me on my hair

(bed-head)

she said "I just had to say it, there was nothing false in it!"

which backs up what I just said

Sincere Sarah

and sitting in front of me is breakfast (I am in bed)

breakfast in bed for the first time, DM coming in dressed like a waiter

the first time he has made oatmeal

I am spoiled, God, spoiled by this life and these people that reflect you

you really do love me, don't you?

for really, really, really

I am tickled pink by your great love

it has changed me

let it change me

these relationships have taught me who God is

this is a piece of the Kingdom of Heaven

I am tasting it now

already seated it says (Eph 2) in the heavenly places

awaiting my Bridegroom

and I want to say thank you, that I accept your great love, God

why is it so hard for me to accept your great love?

show me more!