...

I want to change

dog-gone-it

I want to become new

I see myself falling into the same dumb patterns

and I wonder to myself, why and how

I have hewn my own cisterns

drank from their wells

anything that is fake is poison

and this fake water

is not going to do me any good

I want LIVING WATER - rain, rain, rain, rain down on me

Isn't another definition of insanity

doing the same thing over and over

and expecting the same results?

We cannot expect something more and new and different

if we are not a changing growing moving living organism

willing to RENEW our mind everyday

I want change

I want to become more in line with the spirit

who points me straight up to God

I want to depend less on myself

and become meek and gentle and quiet

and content in what makes my heart a live

and content to step away from what other people

WANT

WHAT DO I WANT

and even in saying that I hear myself asking

yeah but really you should ask

what does God want

and it's true, so, so, so true

I do want what God wants

and I pray that as I seek Him

as my tree is rooted hardcore in him

as I test my heart and pray through each step

(and hear his voice behind me say,

this is the way, walk in it!)

God shows me that what he puts into his branches

is from Him (he is the vine, I am the branch)

May I get caught up in the union of being His precious

and not as much in producing fruit of being His

that will come without searching for it

"you are precious in my sight

you are honored and I love you

I have called you by name

you are MINE." - Isaiah 43

I have long been enslaved to mans desires

and I want to be free from it

I want to collapse in God's desires for me

repentance is changing the way of thinking

and so 

as I repent

I change my pattern of life

of thinking

I remember the beginning

when I fell in love with Jesus

I couldn't put this book down 

and now I have sort of weaned myself off of depending on its word for breath

but if the word is life and light

and I am not bathing in it every day all day long

then... I am not breathing

and it has been literally harder for me lately

"trust in the LORD the everlasting rock"

As Jayne said earlier tonight... why not trust Him? there is nothing else to trust in?