I wore

this sweater for a long time
I had made it myself, it was tight and constricting and had large holes in it.

smelled.

but sometimes, sometimes when I was around people who had similar sweaters on, I felt beautiful
really
really
beautiful
and unique, no matter how much I looked like everyone else

I got looked at then, surveyed by their heavy sly eyes
and eventually I built myself this little belief that this sweater is what beautiful is all about
and I wore it every single dang day
to cover up what was underneath

but everyone knew, especially the people who applauded me,
they knew because they knew themselves
that I was trying to cover up what was so deeply rooted
underneath


2.
it was not until I removed the outter clothing that they turn on you
that old man struggling to keep his hands around your mouth and your heart as you go
straining to speak truth

it was not until he was removed (other people helped with prayer, those angels came around more often with their bright swords and truth slowly beat that man down and Jesus just smiled and fought and came on healing wings of the wind and said things like open your mouth wide and i will fill it)

until I was completely obvious
exposed
to everyone

until then I was not myself

and when I saw myself, that great mirror that glared at me for so long started to smile though the picture inside seemed not as beautiful without being all dolled up and masked like it used to be (it took me years to find out what beauty really was, and the right people see it now)

when I saw myself--my real self, I was able to become new and beautiful and brilliant before the Lord
my eyes looked really clear like peoples do when burdens are lifted and problems become Gods and not theirs and they are just looking and God ("his face was like the face of an angel. - Acts 7?)

exposed and beautiful is what I call it

and that is what I must be: everyday
transparent
weak
unable
sinner

it is not until we see ourselves like this, trembling knees before the King
that we really see
that what we have to offer
is really His
and our beautiful
comes not from
what we wear
put on
paint on or
how well we are at doing what we do or
how successful we are to the next guy

but how loved we are
cared for

becoming a LOVER of God and people is really our highest calling
throw success out the window
God owns a thousand cattle on a thousand hills and he'll sell a couple to keep us cared for

a life of being a
small small small
people covered in the blood of the lamb
with a high calling of lighting up the world
for Christ

for Christ
for Christ
for Christ

anything not rooted in that should be taken off because really no matter how successful those things have made us, they're just old shirts


[we should want exposure]
until then

we

are

not

free.


--it was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.-- Gal 5:1
--Take my yoke upon you and learn from me (all you who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest), I am gentle and humble at heart, you WILL find rest for your souls.-- Matt 11:28-29

[col 3 explains that old man]