The boiler room

it is only God that has the ability to turn absolute chaos into joy

to free us from opportunities we are scared to turn down--only he assures his way is best, surrender is just fine, and there is only good ahead planned for us

only he makes our small lives seem radically amazing.

Brooke and Sarah have moved into the apartment... filling the house with furniture, coffee smells in the morning, a hand or two with overflowing toilets and notes on the counter about yellowing mellowing. It's a beautiful thing, and I am exuberant about them.

An opportunity was handed to me on Sunday by a 6'7 elderly man who said he'd come to Grand Rapids to invite me to Uganda. I took this as a sign, that sure, I was to go.. my Dad offered to pay most of my way, and it seemed that there really was nothing holding me back.

But I don't want to go.

I discovered how much the decisions I make really depend on other people usually, and I hate that. God revealed to me that really, I want my Dad to go, and I felt that if I said yes and went full throttle ahead, perhaps he'd follow after what he said, "I muddied the waters." But God, in his power, I will believe will bring my Dad to Uganda, without me doing any muddying, though I am willing to go on this trip if it meant bringing my Dad there. But honestly, I have found where my heart longs to be--and that is with Jesus, in this community of people downtown that has truly becoming a foundation I know is God-ordained in setting my feet in the soil of his great love and establishing a firm foundation for the rest of my life. I don't know how God brought me to this place.

This morning I woke up for prayer (6 am)--interrupted by Koffi who climbed onto the couch in the middle and DanMike's guitar, voice and tabs plopped down in front of me. Usually I have this hour a lone, but this morning the "interruption" revealed to me how much I cherish that morning hour with God as I rarely get to spend an entire hour with Him alone. I always get to walk with Jesus, but it's like that date wives get with their husbands once a week. That's how I felt, like a date I was on was just joined by a third party just as it was getting intimate. Wow. The prayer hour, however, was community prayer, and anyone at any time is allowed to come in and worship the Lord with me--but it startled me to how jealous I was of that hour. It makes me long for three weeks from now when I will be free from school, free to spend hours with the Lord--one one one-- or with others, painting, reading, knitting, running, loving other people next to Him. Truly this is what my heart longs for. It is what it loves. I want to Love God and Love People along side of whatever else God calls me to do.

Such a blessing it is to live in community. Sometimes it drives you wild because there is no space to go without people flooding the room except for the very tip top of my new bunk bed that has been shoved in a little tiny room that I share with Michelle where we stay up until 2 am some nights speaking Spanish to each other and talking about the espanol word for eyebrow which she just found is CEJAS. I absolutely adore this life--it has brought such healing to me. Just the idea that there are woman and men who are willing to give an entire hour to me if it was needed to pray through something. God is good. After a shower and day prep I wandered over to the Boiler room where DanMike was cooking an omelette for me and Roger was huddled over the coffee maker, Steve doing dishes, chip sitting on the couch talking loudly to Jen, Jen introducing ideas of pilates and yoga every night as a community of woman and DanMike pouring me coffee and milk, just how I like it. beautiful. to be known. to be lived with. I highly recommend it.

it's a tiny version of what heaven will be like.

come see.