sometimes God breaks our legs

sometimes God breaks our legs because are so insistent on running
its strange how he works, I think, and beautiful and painful at the same time

Haus went running, from us, from God, from the law and then we found him in a hospital bed with a broken ankle and he'll be back now, for two weeks [at least] with his leg elevated and
we will wait on him and wait on him hand and foot
look as much like Jesus as we can, love him as much as we can until he will want to be like Jesus
he's sipped it, but God wants to give him a waterfall
not just a day, an eternity of

not wanting

you shall not want, isn't that what he says? That is what God says. Something about leading us beside still waters. I will embrace that little truth, and it will transform me. [ps 23] As it transforms me, it will transform others because that light will be in my eyes. I can feel it already.

"those who look to God will be radiant." - Ps 34

And I hope he breaks my legs everytime I run, so that he can love me better and so I can learn to love him because loving him is really what its about and loving others is really what its about and its a beautiful truth to learn because then we can throw off things that do not matter like looking the part, and wearing the hat, and getting hot skills, they don't matter, we'll just have our little hearts to give to God in the end, and what we put on our bodies or can do with our hands won't really matter -- he wants our hearts to be tender and movable

we are not free until we are willing to change and to change we must be soft like clay in his hands

Haus is teaching us this softness, its hard sometimes, but we are learning that our arms are always supposed to look like an embrace, open and willing and inviting
(a woman is either a door or a window)

and I hope Haus will die again and again in the alley so that Marvin can be alive again. We don't have two names in Christ because we start wearing Jesus' nametag and then we become beautiful,

but dying hurts sometimes, and is hard sometimes and sometimes it must happen everyday until the way we eat and answer the phone and type and watch people all looks more like Jesus

it's a process, we are always a work in progress and
we are all the same, really
all desperate
all needy
needing to give up our addictions so we can get to God's heart.

I dont quite know how to end this, so, here it goes.