Brookey I miss you!

I have just wept after reading Brooke

OH, Wisconsin.

the house has been swept clean (Charla) and my house feels a little empty

unsettled, timid as I put myself into God and say this is my only hope

(really)

I have this new weakness I feel something i haven't ever felt

knowing that soon, I too will have to put things in boxes like Brooke has, and whether it be down the street or Grandville or Byron or timbuktu

Marcy reminds me after reading Brooke like I just have

Jesus is home

and I have had to put myself in boxes and put myself away sometimes trying to hush the lingering old ways of me and yet love myself because it is God who has made me

and who I am now is not myself but HIM

I can try, only try

as He knits me into Him.

and it's timid feeling, this resting in something I cannot see

and yet something I want to grow in

I feel like small child who is now discovering windows and summer

and the sun above the roof

I have begun to learn that I can lift my head into it's beating rays

because I have no fear no shame no stepping back

no more tears except for Him

and I can look dead on in my timid childlike way

with strength, discipline and love

I can make decisions with my hand in His hand

and He may giggle and move me somewhere else instead

I can only try

we can only try

and we will make mistakes

but His great love, 

oh His great great love

covers all

and looks at us in great great joy

smiling

(I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go

I will councel you with my eye upon you - Ps 32)

(I woke to,

I know your frame, I am intimately acquainted with all of your ways

I know the way you are, the way you are supposed to be

I have written every single one of your days. - Ps 139)