hi.

this morning I was able to wake up, go to prayer on time 

enjoy breakfast with my second family and actually participate in the creation of it

because I am starting to believe that God does not want us to be a frantic rushed people with plenty to do but to be fishers of men

and my second family are the first people I see every morning and

I want to learn to love them well

and also love the gifts God has given my hands to do

sometimes that calls for drastic measures  ( when there is a distraction)

and for me, a drastic measure was pushing the "drop" button on a class 

I was currently enrolled in

something I have never had the power to do before... 

and though, to the world, that may seem like a stretch to say that

God would ever call me or ask me to do that but

I'm feeling the burden lift already

and isn't that what Jesus calls us to feel like?

I had been living in such a way that school and getting a degree was my identity

I was not going to learn or to become wiser, but to get to the goal and have a little piece of paper to put in a box in my basement later, or under a box in my cartrunk (B :))

I've decided there is more to life

and that I still do want to learn

but I also want to not just be a student 

but be a student of men 

so next semester I am going to learn to knit, I am going to take pottery and watercolor

and I am going to love my family and my neighbors better than I ever have

and try to surrender everything to God and trust that He doesn't say he will provide for the righteous only if they get a degree, but believe his words because he says he will not with hold any good thing from the righteous and I am one of the righteous! praises!

I am going to paint in the garage and sit and drink coffee and eat eggs with you

and let passages like the end of Matthew 16 change me.

there has been a block for me in learning for the past three years and I have full confidence that this is the beginning of it being busted down

I can feel the creativity coming back already...